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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28286433">Understanding Christmas</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay'>KaytheJay</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>That of the Impossible [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:28:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28286433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Beelzebub and Gabriel celebrate Christmas for the first time. However, they both only have a very minimal understanding of what the holiday is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>That of the Impossible [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930234</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Understanding Christmas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello hello and welcome to day 24 of my Countdown to Christmas!</p><p>This is actually the last fic that I wrote, and the fic that ended up pushing me over the edge of my NaNoWriMo goal for this year, so I am feeling just a little bit sappy about it. But I won’t bore you with the details of that. </p><p>What I will say is I had a lot of fun writing this one. It took me three days to write because I wanted to be careful about not rushing it or the ending or anything. Because I was also excited because this was my last fic that I had to write for this countdown. </p><p>So regardless of if I made it to the 50k with this one, it was going to be a huge deal for me. </p><p>Anyway, I hope you enjoy!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>December was . . . odd to say the least. Suddenly humans had plastic trees indoors of all sorts of unnatural colors. They were playing weird music that everyone seemed to know, and they were all being oddly nice to each other. Besides maybe to the retail workers, whom they were even ruder to. No doubt an act of Hell. That’s all Gabriel had to say about that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was an influx of bright lights and big blow up . . .  things in people’s yards. Mostly it stuck to a fat man in a red suit, some reindeer (some of them even had a bright red nose, which made no sense at all to Gabriel), and trees to match the plastic ones. There were lots of little things on sale that were hanging from strings and lots of different candies, all of which had the same color schemes. Red and green. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even Aziraphale and Crowley were taking part. They’d decorated their home with lots of lights, strung up all the way around their home. They had statues of the same fat man sitting on their front lawn. They even had one of the stupid trees up in their living room with a bunch of the small hangy things on it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was this some sort of cult? Perhaps this cult was the reason that Aziraphale had abandoned his duties to Heaven. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aziraphale?” Gabriel asked. “What is going on?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” he asked. Gabriel gestured around the room. He pointed at the creepy robot thing that resembled the red suit man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everyone is suddenly being very weird with the change in weather. They’ve all put trees up indoors and decorated them. They’re not even real trees most of the time! But they’re all the same type of tree. What is going on?” Aziraphale smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, this is just getting ready to celebrate Christmas.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is that?” Gabriel asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, anymore it is a Christian holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus. Traditionally speaking anyway. I don’t use it to celebrate Jesus, I use it to . . . well I’m really not sure. I just like the festivities that come with it. Originally it was a pagan holiday that was mostly an excuse to get drunk and make the winter less miserable.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But what’s with that fat man? He’s everywhere!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s just Santa,” Aziraphale explained. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who the hell is that?” Gabriel asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s someone that humans have created and agreed upon. He’s a,” Aziraphale looked around to double-check that Eden wasn’t in hearing range. “He’s a fictitious man who watches over the children all year long. He brings good children gifts and the naughty children coal.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If he’s not real, how do the children get their gifts or their coal?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well, the parents just do that,” Aziraphale said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seems a little odd for them,” Gabriel said. “Don’t humans usually like getting credit for gifts? Isn’t the whole point of a gift to show how much to love that person?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh the parents do get other gifts for the children, sometimes. That aren’t, you know, from Santa.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That seems a little redundant.” Aziraphale shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s all in good fun. Something to celebrate the end of the year all proper and such.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The conversation with Aziraphale had gotten Gabriel thinking. From the sound of it, Christmas was quite a nice holiday to celebrate. He decided to ask Crowley for Christmas movie recommendations, to see if he could better understand the concept. Crowley had thought about completely trolling him and sending off a horror movie, but Aziraphale was always insisting that they needed to be nice to Gabriel. Gabriel appreciated the movies, but they all seemed to have the same stories. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Either something happens to the North Pole or the Mr. Santa man and some idiot has to take over and “save” Christmas (though it’s a holiday and the Mr. Santa man was fake, so Gabriel could not understand what this had to do with anything), or it was just about two people who fall in love at Christmas time. Always somewhere in the middle having a petty fight, but they always came together in the end. Talk about toxic. Though it was clear that for some reason, humans (and perhaps even Aziraphale and Crowley) found this time of the year romantic. Perhaps his own love interest would find it romantic as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he did what any logical angel would do. He went out and he got every single Christmas decoration that he could find. He got himself a tree and lights and the hangy things (which he found out were called ornaments). He went to his apartment (which he had grown to love, despite telling himself that it wasn’t a permanent solution to his situation here on Earth. He really wasn’t a fan of his neighbors bothering him all of the time) and put everything up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something about his decorations just seemed . . . off. They somehow weren’t as good as those Aziraphale and Crowley had up, or even any one of the other stores that he’d seen. It looked bad and lazy. That was not something he was about, but he wasn’t sure how to fix it. So, of course, he called the only angel that knew more about Earth than he did and begged him to come help. Aziraphale declined. Something about not being able to leave the children so last minute, and doing that with children around would be more of a hindrance than a help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d suggested that Aziraphale just leave the babies with Eden, but Aziraphale didn’t seem to be too fond of the idea. Gabriel couldn’t imagine why. If Eden was old enough to go to school (whatever that was), surely he was old enough to look after his brother and sister for a few hours. Besides, any time that Gabriel had been around Aziraphale and Crowley’s children, Eden seemed </span>
  <em>
    <span>enthusiastic</span>
  </em>
  <span> about helping with his siblings. He assumed that they’d all be fine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed he wasn’t going to be getting any help with this at any point in time. He looked around at the mess he’d made (and he was certain that it counted more of a mess than as decorations) and shook his head. What was he to do now? He wanted to try to impress Beelzebub, but they weren’t going to be impressed by </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. This was just a disaster. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps the whole thing could still be saved. Gift-giving seemed tradition in this holiday. He could just get them a good gift. Then he remembered what Aziraphale had said about Santa. Bad children get coal. Did Beelzebub count as a child? They were a demon, so the </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad </span>
  </em>
  <span>part of the whole thing wasn’t all that debatable. They were bad. That was part of their job description. It didn’t make him like them any less, but they were a demon, and traditions were traditions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beelzebub had also noticed the strange tinge to the air. Everyone seemed happier than usual. Not to mention the fact that it was significantly harder to tempt anyone to do anything if they weren’t already destined for Hell. Even some of the ones who </span>
  <em>
    <span>were </span>
  </em>
  <span>destined for Hell hesitated to do anything for Hell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was strange, to say the least. They never imagined humans could be this happy with weather as miserable as it was. But almost everyone they came into contact with was happier than usual and impossible to sway in any other direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps this was some sort of protection that Heaven had put into place to make sure that they could still get everything that they needed done. Humans still had to be capable of good. To give them a time of year where almost nothing could bring them down was genius. It was probably something that Gabriel had come up with. None of the other archangels were smart enough to put this sort of thing over the humans. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So it would impress Gabriel greatly if they were to participate in . . . whatever this was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But how to do it right? They had to do it right or Gabriel would see right through it. Not to mention the fact that they were a demon. Demons weren’t exactly meant for creating </span>
  <em>
    <span>happiness </span>
  </em>
  <span>in people. But they didn’t even know what was going on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is all this about?” Beelzebub asked a stranger on the street. They were human. They would know what was going on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” the person asked in confusion. “I don’t know you anyway.” They gave Beelzebub a strange look. They would burn for that, but for now they wanted to figure this out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This!” Beelzebub gestured vaguely. “The weird happiness that has everyone doing good things, the decorations, the music.” They shook their head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you telling me you’ve never heard of Christmas before?” the person replied. They shook their head. “Where are you from.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The deepest depths of Hell,” Beelzebub said nonchalantly. The person laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, that was my fault, that is a personal question,” they said. Beelzebub rolled their eyes. How could a person be so stupid? They had answered the question. “Anyway, your English is really good for not being from around here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to tell me what this is then?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Christmas,” The person replied with a smile. “It’s a holiday here. You probably have some other winter holiday that you celebrate instead.” They shrugged. “Well I ought to be on my merry way, happy holidays!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Holiday. Beelzebub had heard the word before. None of the other holidays that they had experienced so far had this much of a grip on the population of humans though. There was something different about this one. Perhaps “holiday” was just some sort of code that Heaven was using. It would be quite smart to use a word for something that humans were already doing to hide this special protection from the demons. Only Gabriel could come up with something so clever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They felt quite lucky that Gabriel was no longer actively working against them. They hadn’t even been aware of this project that Gabriel was working on all these years. There was nothing that Beelzebub didn’t know. They had eyes and ears everywhere, including in Heaven. Perhaps, then, Gabriel had figured it out and had had to find a way to work around everywhere that Beelzebub had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That would also be quite clever. Beelzebub had every inch of Heaven covered at all times, making it near impossible to hide anything from them. Which meant that this was something that Gabriel had created outside of Heaven. But had obviously been working with Heaven on it. The protection against demons was too strong on this one to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>have heavenly influences. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes. That must be </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly </span>
  </em>
  <span>what this whole thing was. Something that they really shouldn’t celebrate because they’re a demon and this was the best defense mechanism against demonism, but they were going to celebrate anyway because it was something that Gabriel had come up with himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Decorations seemed to be a must in this holiday. Reds and greens and plants with needles instead of leaves. They would impress Gabriel even more if they homemade all of their decorations, they thought. So of course they had to do that. They went around to all of the craft stores that they could find and gathered all of the supplies that they thought they would need before heading to their own small apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The biggest decoration seemed to be the needle trees (though in the stores, they weren’t needles, just plastic). They knew that Gabriel would be impressed with them if they made him an actual needle tree. They hadn’t found enough needles to make a tree, but they could just miracle more into existence. It wasn’t as if it was that hard. They could have just miracled the whole needle tree, but they thought it would mean more if they hand made it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For some reason, all of the needles came in silver. They needed them to be in green, so they’d purchased a large amount of green paint in order to get them the color that they needed to be. They decided that painting the needles first would probably be the best way to go about this without them getting all sorts of new cuts due to the nature of needles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The choice to have a needle tree be the center of such a positive holiday seemed like an ironic choice. Too ironic for it to not have been on purpose. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He did it because of me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Beelzebub thought. It was the only rational explanation. If that was the case, it would mean that Gabriel had loved them for a long time. Beelzebub smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They fashioned a sort of base out of- well they weren’t exactly sure what it was. They’d just seen it and thought it would make a fantastic needle tree- something while the needles dried. By some miracle (of demonic nature), Beelzebub now had nearly 100,000 hand-painted green needles. They thought that this would be sufficient when making the needle tree. If it ended up being too much, they could simply purge the extras from existence. Or send them to Hell to be used in torture. Whichever they decided that they were feeling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to give the demon coal. That was just part of tradition. It made shopping significantly easier though. Without having to stress about what they would like or what would be appropriate considering the stage of their relationship that they were currently in. He wasn’t even going to have to ask Aziraphale for help with this one. He could find coal. That was no issue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or rather, it wasn’t an issue after he figured out that coal was just a big, black rock. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could find a big, black rock. Rocks lived everywhere! Surely some of them had to be black. There were even some stores that had a big box of rocks that they were just selling. He had a number of different choices when it came to where he could get this coal for Beelzebub. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale hadn’t said anything about how </span>
  <em>
    <span>much </span>
  </em>
  <span>coal the bad children were given, so he really wasn’t sure how many black rocks he needed to take with him, so he just took all of them that he could find. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really like black rocks,” the cashier said upon noticing just how many rocks Gabriel had brought to the front. They sighed. Customers and always getting obsessed with the stuff that made their job harder. Why couldn’t they like . . . well why couldn’t they just hate this store and leave forever?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, they’re not for me,” Gabriel said. “They’re a sort of . . . gift. From the santa person.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” the cashier replied, though they still didn’t understand why there were so many rocks. “Someone was apparently naughty this year,” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Really bad if they’re getting this many rocks. What the hell could a child have done to deserve this much punishment? </span>
  </em>
  <span>They finished bagging up the rocks and gave the strange man his total. He gave enough money for the purchase plus some, but he walked away before they could give him his change. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this enough though,” Gabriel whispered to himself as he walked out of the store. He had found a large number of black rocks, but he really wasn’t sure if there were enough. He shrugged. It wouldn’t matter. Beelzebub wouldn’t care. Besides, they had no use at all for black rocks. This gift seemed strange to give to bad people now that he knew what it was. But he wasn’t going to go back against tradition. Even though he had never in his life heard of Christmas and could technically celebrate it in any way that he wanted to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beelzebub took a step back from their creation. With the help of some glue (and lots of miracles), it looked just about perfect. It looked exactly how they’d wanted it to look. And they’d found a way to use every last needle, so no need for purging things from existence today. They were quite proud of their work (and they had every right to be since they were a demon). They could only hope that all of their work had paid off and Gabriel would like it too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Gabriel</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They hadn’t spoken to him all day, so focused on the needle tree that they’d forgotten to talk to him at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now communicating with him was even easier because Crowley had introduced them both to cellular telephones (the way that he and Aziraphale had managed to stay under the radar these last six thousand years). All they had to do was push a button and Gabriel would be on the other end of the line. They decided to call him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello Gabriel,” Beelzebub said. “How has your day been?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pleasant,” Gabriel replied. “I have learned of this new thing that I think you would like to enjoy with me. Or at least, I would like to enjoy it with you because of . . . reasons.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to fill me in on what this . . . thing is?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not yet, that’s a surprise,” Gabriel said. “Just be at mine tonight, alright? Bring a gift.” Gabriel hung up. Beelzebub smiled over to their needle tree. Good thing they had just the perfect thing to bring for the angel. Gabriel was going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. They just had to figure out how to get it to Gabriel’s place without spoiling the surprise. They didn’t understand much about gifts, but they did know that gifts were supposed to be a surprise until they were opened. They thought for a moment before snapping their fingers and miracling a big box into existence. Before they stuffed their needle tree in the box, they made sure that the box wasn’t going to hurt it by placing another miracle on the tree. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few hours later, they were standing outside of Gabriel’s place waiting for him to answer the door. The tree that they’d made for him was at their feet because it had gotten heavy and they didn’t want to hold it anymore. Gabriel opened the door and smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Merry Christmas Beelzebub!” He greeted. Beelzebub sniffed the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is something burning?” Gabriel shook his head as he shut the door behind Beelzebub. “Really? It smells . . .  well I don’t know, but something smells burnt.” Gabriel shook his head again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, everything is going perfectly,” he replied. “I am an angel. I know more about anything than anyone else ever could dream of knowing.” Beelzebub shrugged. “Now, you can put the gift under the tree there and we’ll open them later.” Beelzebub looked over and saw that Gabriel already had a needle tree. It was one of the fake ones from the store (and it looked quite bad). They sighed. Of course he already had a tree. He had been the one to invent the “holiday.” They should have known better. They shook their head. He might already have a tree, but he didn’t have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>real </span>
  </em>
  <span>needle tree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel headed to the kitchen to pull the sugar cookies that he’d made for the occasion out of the oven. He’d heard that they were tradition, so of course he’d had to try them. They were all black to a crisp. That is really not what they had looked like in the recipe. Gabriel shook his head. Why would they be so misleading with how they were supposed to turn out? Beelzebub walked into the kitchen and saw the mess that Gabriel had made. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure those aren’t burnt?” they asked. “I don’t even know what that is supposed to be.” Gabriel shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re sugar cookies,” he said. Beelzebub scrunched their nose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you burned them.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nonsense. I can’t do anything wrong. I am an angel.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In a relationship with a demon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh hush up,” Gabriel said. “We were all angels at some point or other. You used to work for Heaven.” Beelzebub shook their head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>technically </span>
  </em>
  <span>employed but I never did anything for them,” Beelzebub replied. “Didn’t believe what they stood for.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Gabriel asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to get into it.” Gabriel nodded. He wouldn’t push them. From his conversations with Aziraphale, he knew that he shouldn’t push Beezebub to tell him things that he wanted to know. No matter how much he wanted to know them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How does one just not believe what Heaven stands for? We are objectively good. That’s the whole point. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, maybe they weren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>objectively </span>
  </em>
  <span>good. What does that even mean? By definition they were supposed to be good and whatnot, but Heaven had opted for the end of the world just as much as Hell had. Fuck, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gabriel himself </span>
  </em>
  <span>had wanted the end of the world. Show the demons who were really in charge. But if Heaven was objectively good, would power really be what they wanted? He shook his head. Morals were a hard thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though he was glad now that the world still existed. There was so much about the planet that he’d spent six thousand years watching that he didn’t really know. Like the fact that humans were </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>smart. Who would have guessed? From the reports he’d read, he’d assumed they were all idiots who would forget their left foot if it wasn’t attached. Not just that, but there were so many different kinds of humans, all of them fascinating in their own ways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He understood why Aziraphale and Crowley had fought so hard to keep the place around. He was rather fond of it now. This was quite a nice place to be. It was even better than being in Heaven, which made no sense at all because Heaven was supposed to be the Ultimate Good Place. Looking at it from Earth though made it seem rather bland. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here, try it while it’s hot,” Gabriel said, handing them one of the supposed sugar cookies. Beelzebub could only stare at it. They really didn’t want to ingest it. They were picky about what they put into their body, and a burnt cookie wasn’t something that sounded like it was worth the calories. But the way Gabriel was looking at them now, they couldn’t help it. They didn’t want to upset him. Besides, this was probably his first attempt at cooking at all (he also didn’t like eating. He liked it even less than Beelzebub did). They tried to take a bite but it wouldn’t break off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gabriel, I think it’s burnt,” they said. They hit it against the counter. It left black crumbles on the counter and made a hard thunking sound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I followed the recipe exactly!” Gabriel complained. “Every last step of the way. It can’t be me who’s wrong! It’s the recipe.” Beelzebub patted his arm comfortingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We all royally fuck up at our first attempts at Earth things.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’m an angel!” Gabriel said. “I’m supposed to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>better </span>
  </em>
  <span>than humans in every way.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I’m supposed to be worse than humans in every way, but that isn’t true either,” Beelzebub said. “I’ve never killed a demon before, but humans kill each other all the time.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You tried to kill Crowley,” Gabriel pointed out. “You wanted him gone.” Beelzebub rolled their eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s because he’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>traitor</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Or, at least, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>a traitor.” Beelzebub shook their head. “Now I’m not so sure.” Gabriel nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The whole situation was an odd one. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Objectively</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Aziraphale and Crowley were both traitors. They had both gone against their respective Head Office, and against the Great Plan as a whole. That was one of the biggest offenses that a person can have. Going against the Great Plan was a terrible idea. Especially when all you have is one demon and one angel. However, having gotten to know humans a little better, Gabriel had come to realize that they weren’t the robots that he had come to think that they were. They were fascinating little creatures with their own stories and beliefs. Each one had a family, friends, everything. They all had some sort of value in the world, even if it was just to one other person. Who was Heaven </span>
  <em>
    <span>or </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hell to take that away from them? You can’t be good if you were trying to wipe things out of existence that had value. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So from a human standpoint, Heaven </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>objectively good. They were the ones who wanted to end everything. From this standpoint, Aziraphale and Crowley were their saviors. The ones they could and should depend on to keep their best interests at heart. They were the ones who fought against ending everything. Which would make the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>traitor </span>
  </em>
  <span>really, really wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Gabriel said. “And I’m not going to pretend to know anything about anything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you’re going to admit your cookies are burnt?” Gabriel rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. They’re burnt. Are you happy?” Beelzebub shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe if you hadn’t tried to force me to eat inedible ash.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not inedible, you’re just picky,” Gabriel said, picking up one of the cookies. He tried to take a bite out of it and sighed. “Maybe they are a little bit inedible.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” Beelzebub said with a smile. “Exactly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, what do you suggest then? I don’t see you attempting it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Therefore I can sit here and pretend to be better than you at one thing. We don’t have any proof of otherwise.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or you’re just being a hypocrite.” Beelzebub shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can live with that,” they said. “Did you have anything else planned for today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, there’s this one movie that Crowley recommended to me that I wanted to share with you,” Gabriel said. “It definitely seems like it’s more your speed than mine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? What’s that?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come and I’ll show you,” Gabriel said. He led them out to his sitting room where he’d gotten a TV just because Crowley suggested it (and visual entertainment that came on it was quite nice, he had to be honest. Sometimes). He pulled out a DVD that Crowley had given him to borrow and showed it to Beelzebub. It had a cartoonish skeleton on the cover with black and white stripes. The only hint as to what it had to do with Christmas was the fact that it had “Christmas” in the title. Gabriel really didn’t understand how much a </span>
  <em>
    <span>skeleton</span>
  </em>
  <span> could have to do with Christmas, especially since it seemed that skeletons belonged to Halloween. Perhaps it could be good though. Christmas seemed to be a holiday about being good, while Halloween seemed to be one for the wicked. At least with Gabriel’s understanding of the two holidays. Which meant Christmas was for angels, Halloween was for demons, and this movie was for both. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which just so happened to be the audience at the current second. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel found the movie interesting to say the least. It seemed that the main character only had a vague understanding of the holiday, but tried to claim that he had a bigger understanding of it. Understanding enough to run it for himself, though he quickly found that that really wasn’t the case. It seemed an interesting narrative, though it also made Gabriel think about how much he really understood the holiday (because Gabriel’s lack of understanding the holiday was </span>
  <em>
    <span>obviously </span>
  </em>
  <span>the reason Crowley had shown him the movie). Of course, him not understanding it wouldn’t really hurt as many people at the skelton not understanding the holiday, but it was hurting Beelzbub. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That much had become clear when he’d forced them to try to eat “inedible ash” that was supposed to be Christmas cookies. Crowley was obviously trying to help him not get in too far over his head for the celebration of this holiday. At least, not for the first one. He silently wished he had watched it so he could learn this lesson </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’d invited Beelzebub over. Now he was just stuck in this stupid limbo of having to deal with the fact that he was hurting Beelzebub in the process. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s do the gift exchange now,” Gabriel said, wanting to redeem himself. Everything was always better with a gift. He still could fix this. He had gotten the perfect gift for Beelzebub. He was sure of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want you to open mine first,” Beelzebub said, no longer wanting to wait to see his reaction. They got up and brought the present to Gabriel. Gabriel had no arguments. If this is what the demon wanted, this is what they were going to get. Besides, he couldn’t help but be curious about what the demon had gotten for him. He pulled the box off of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before him was a . . . a pole with needles stuck to it. It was painted green and was about two feet tall. He looked over to Beelzebub and they were beaming, clearly very proud of themself for what they had done. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I uh . . . what is it?” he asked. Beelzebub slumped. They hadn’t done as good of a job on the project as they had thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a needle tree,” Beelzebub said dejectedly. “You know, like the real version of that,” They pointed to Gabriel’s tree. Gabriel looked at it and cocked his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you make it?” Gabriel asked. He did now see where Beelzebub could have gotten an evergreen tree out of it. They nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Spent all day on it,” they replied. Gabriel smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well isn’t that lovely,” he said. “I love it, thank you.” He didn’t really, but he didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Also to spare their feelings, he was going to find a spot for it year round. He could tell that they’d worked hard on it and he didn’t want them to feel like their work had gone to waste. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Beelzebub said. “I wanted to get you something to be a nod to this ‘holiday’ that you created. It is really quite a clever thing and-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think I </span>
  <em>
    <span>invented </span>
  </em>
  <span>Christmas?” Beelzebub nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, of course you did, it is such a clever thing and no one else would be able to come up with it.” Gabriel shook his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really don’t know where it came from, but I’m not the one who did it,” he said. “I appreciate that you think it’s clever and you like it and you thought that I did it. But I have to be honest with you, because I don’t want to lie to you. I did not invent Christmas.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So it’s not a protective measure against demons for this time of the year to get good deeds done?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it is, I had nothing to do with it,” Gabriel said. “But look at this super cool needle tree that you made for me! I’m going to find a spot for it.” He shook his head. “Wait, no.” Gabriel snapped his fingers and the tree that he’d had up disappeared. He took Beelzebub’s needle tree and put it in its place. “There, look at that.” He wrapped his arm around Beelzebub. “Look at how nice it looks right there. And I’m sure I’m the only one who had a needle tree like that! No one else would even think to come up with it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really like it?” Beelzebub asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Gabriel said. “I really, really do.” Beelzebub smiled and turned themself into Gabriel. They knew he was lying, obviously. Gabriel was a really terrible liar. He didn’t like the tree, but he was going to keep it around for Beelzebub’s sake. Beelzebub knew this because they were a demon. They appreciated the gesture though. One of Heaven’s own was lying to them for the simple sake of trying to save their feelings. Not just any angel either, it was an </span>
  <em>
    <span>archangel </span>
  </em>
  <span>that was doing the lying for the sake of them. They had to admit, they loved him for it. Maybe just a little bit. “Now it’s your turn,” Gabriel said, feeling slightly more confident on his choice gift. He handed them the giant box that he’d packaged the rocks in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They quickly pulled the paper off the box and pulled the box open. It was full of rocks. Just a variety of black rocks. Rocks that they could go outside and just pick up off the ground. Perhaps that’s what Gabriel did. Though why rocks had made him think of them was something they didn’t understand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re nice rocks,” Beelzbub said, wanting to keep the same energy as Gabriel had had for their needle tree. They pulled one out and studied it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you don’t understand,” Gabriel said. “There’s this magical man that brings toys to good children and coal to the bad ones. You’re a demon, so I got you some coal.” Beelzeub looked again at the rock in their hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh that’s really nice, isn’t it?” They said. “Funny. I like that.” They shook their head. “But what am I supposed to do with a box full of rocks?” Gabriel shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you want with, I suppose,” he said. “I hear some people do rock gardens and those can look nice.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I don’t have any space for a garden!” Beelzebub pointed out. “I don’t even have a balcony.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something to keep in mind for our home, I suppose,” Gabriel murmured without realizing what he’d said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Our home</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The words bounced around in Beelzbub’s head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’d never thought about owning a home before. This whole trip to Earth was supposed to be temporary. Just something for them to process the Armegeddon-that-wasn’t and figure out what their next step was. They hadn’t even planned on staying for a s long as they had already. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then they remembered everything that Gabriel had told them that Aziraphale and Crowley had. A home, children. Happiness. That was the big one. They were happy together. Beelzbub knew that they were happy with Gabriel. That wasn’t going to change any time soon. They pictured what a future with Gabriel could look like. Their home. It would, of course, have the suggested rock garden. Maybe a cat to catch the rats. They’d never thought about having children before. They didn’t see it as something that would be possible for them. They’d always just assumed that they wouldn’t have them. But looking at how happy Aziraphale and Crowley were after having had their kids, they began to think that maybe, just maybe, they would have some of their own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But they still had a lot of spending time with Gabriel, fully rejecting Hell (which they still didn’t feel ready to do), and getting to know Earth before kids were even a question. Besides, they had to think about what they wanted. Maybe it was kids. Maybe it was just Gabriel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Our home sounds quite nice,” Beelzebub said, resting their head on Gabriel’s shoulder. “Maybe someday.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week. <br/>Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon and @justademonandtheirangel</p></blockquote></div></div>
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